Thursday, May 21, 2009

Anger

I've been holding off on posting anything substantive since my mood has been anything but upbeat, despite a phenomenal graduation weekend. I had hoped that we would have a new court date by the end of this week, but I received an email today from our agency informing us that the High Court in Ethiopia has not reassigned us a new court date. So...we continue to wait. And I continue to get angrier and angrier with an agency that persists in addressing us as "Family," delivering bad news via email, and signing said emails with "Cheers." As in, "Dear Family, You failed to pass court today. Your case will have to be rescheduled. Cheers!" The lack of sensitivity is mind-boggling. And those are the nicest things I can think to say. We've had other, more serious issues come up that I'm not going to get into on a public blog, at least not right now.

At this point, I feel like this is never going to happen. I can't even look at Sprout's pictures any more. I'm physically nauseous just thinking about our second adoption, and feel tremendously guilty for feeling this way, as if I'm letting her down somehow. But what else can I do?

My sister graduates from college this weekend, and we'll be heading down to Kentucky tomorrow to help her celebrate. Maybe by Monday my perspective will have improved. Until then, please accept this condolence kiss:


17 comments:

Meredith said...

I'm so, so sorry! I completely understand your frustrations. If you need to vent, feel free to send me an e-mail. :) I hope you hear of your rescheduled court date very, very soon.

Meg DeZutti said...

my heart aches for you and Sprout and the whole family. I cannot believe this is happening.
Our court date is next Wednesday and I'm starting to get real nervous. I NEED this weekend, because nothing bad in IA ever happens on a weekend, right??
Praying you get your new courtdate SOON and Sprout is in your arms before you know it.
(please tell me you aren't going to study for and take the summer Bar with 2 little ones??? Crazy lady!)

Bethany said...

Can I just say "AMEN?" No really, even though we haven't had a failed court date, I have so many issues with what's going on..hence my latest social worker post on the boards.....

SOMETHING ISN'T RIGHT!!!!

This is our second adoption too and it's harder to connect with my girl.....I'm not wanting to blame our agency for the lost connection..but how can I not?

Anyhoo you know how to reach me
Bethanyr27@Msn.com

Jess said...

Oh Christina I'm so sorry!

Life in the Bend said...

My blood is boiling on your behalf.
There are some times that merit a phone call from the agency and this is one of them!

Remember talking before we all traveled to Ethiopia last time about how we didn't feel completely connected to our kids? Surely, it must feel even more pronounced now that you have D and have a basis for comparison. I'm sure once you meet Sprout, the connection and happiness will come. Cut yourself some slack!

In the meantime, want to have a playdate next week?

Stacy said...

uggh. I would be angry about this too. Simple personal and empathic communication is easy and it's free. What is wrong with agencies who don't get this? I hope that you get some good news soon.

thebenshow said...

Oh I'm sorry. Sorry for all the heartache and anxiety and insensitivity. I'll be praying for good news for you soon.

Jen and Dan said...

Oh guys, I am just so very sorry. There are no words I am sure I can say to make you feel any less pain, just know we continue to keep all of you in our thoughts. And HUGE congrats on graduating. That's just fantastic. ((hugs)) and wishes for a reassigned court date super soon (like today!).

AnnMarie & Nick said...

No advice just (((HUGS))), let me know if there is anything I can do to make this easier for your family, seriously. Enjoy your weekend with family and I'm hoping you hear good news soon.

Bethany said...

I know you are hesitant to post much on your blog, but I would encourage you to do so... when you feel comfortable. After all, it is YOUR blog :) Those of us in this process together can definitely learn from one another. We have had issues too... and we don't even have a referral yet! Have you talked to Holt about the email wording? That is definitely crazy, they should be calling you. Praying for a QUICK court date!!

Mama Papaya said...

As if the process weren't hard enough. Ugh. I am thinking of you three here and the one of you who is still too far away and wishing you together with all my might.

Cindy said...

(((((((Big Hugs)))))))))))))

cathy said...

this makes me so sad... and i'm sorry you are feeling so sad. i wish i could do something! (big hug)

The Jabber said...

If you need someone to rage with, feel free to give me a call. Megan can give you my number. I'm full of anger too these days (no graduation/defense for me!). Misery loves company?

Lauren Paynter said...

I have noticed you were missing from the yahoo group and was wondering what was up with you guys. I am so sorry you are going through all this. I hope and pray you will hear about a new court date next week. It would only be right if Holt would personally call you with news like that???!!!! Hugs....

Heather said...

Just a phone call with kind words of explanation and some encouragement might lessen, just a little, the anxiety and frustration that you and many are feeling right now. Your painful wait for Sprout and feelings of anger and anxiety break my heart. Your emotions just show a mother's love. You're not letting Sprout down. She will know how much your heart ached for her!!!! Can't wait 'til you get good news...and it better be over the telephone!!!

Rebecca said...

So sorry, I know how it is to get crappy email from an agency with a horrible closing line, the choice of our agency was "Warm regards," puke.
It's enough to send you over the edge.