Sunday, August 23, 2009

How Are We Doing?

Crown Hotel Dinner, February 2008

Not bad, not bad. Saye sleeps from 8 pm to 7 am, thank heavens. And now that Dinkeneh is back to sleeping through the night, we're all feeling more refreshed. I got disgustingly sick on Wednesday, recovered somewhat on Thursday, and Chris bit the dust Thursday night. We are just now feeling "back to normal", though Chris is still a bit weak. Saye gifted Dinkeneh with whatever intestinal friends she's got residing with her, hence the reason we gave up and stuck them in the same bath. But at least all excretions are remaining in the diapers! Remind me to post on The Great Dubai Diaper Fiasco of 2009 sometime. It was a doozy.

I think my first trip out with just me and the two kids sums up the current state of affairs. We went to Walgreens to pick up Chris's meds and some Pedialite Pops for him (would someone at his work please give him a hard time about this?!). Now, as a mother of one, I would proudly (read: smugly) cruise through the aisles with my oh-so-cute and well-behaved child, regally nodding to the exclamations of delight from all fellow shoppers and employees.

My time has come.

No sooner do I clear the Walgreens entrance when Dinkeneh throws himself to the floor, loudly declaring that he will NOT ride in the cart. Oh joy. Bear in mind, this child has never thrown himself to the floor in a public place under my watch, ever. I am stunned. I take a deep breath, stick a smile on my face and my daughter in the cart, then turn to pick him up. Before I can reach him, he scrambles to his feet, runs over to a Maybeline display, and punches it has hard as he can, causing product to spill out all over the place. We now have a crowd watching us. I feel my face turning red. As I grab my shrieking child, I hear an onlooker say, "Boy, you sure do have your hands full."

The dreaded hands full comment. Unbelievable.

But as much as I loathe the use of that phrase, it feels true right now. My hands do feel full, in good ways and not-so-good ways. This is the point in the process when you're on the downhill stretch, finish line in sight, but your muscles are so tired that you no longer have good control, and every step is jarring as you fight to find a new rhythm.

We'll get there.

It just takes time.

Crown Hotel Dinner, August 2009

P.S. Can you believe I still have no pictures of the four of us together?!


Heather said...

I seriously busted out laughing at D's Walgreen's tantrum. Shea did the exact same thing at Walmart last week. He threw himself on the ground, would not get in the cart (though he had been in carts at Target, Babies R US, and Safeway with no problems!), and screamed bloody murder. I was so jarred by his tantrum that I dropped my purse and all of the contents to the ground. Once in the store, I had to push the cart with him wriggling on my hip and trying to tear anything within reach to the floor. On the way out, our 24 pack of Cokes fell out of the cart, cans were punctured and spraying up my skirt. Good times at Walmart with a 22 month old! Anyway, loved your post. Made me feel like things are normal around here ;).

AnnMarie & Nick said...

One day at a time... you will look back and laugh at all of this some day. Enjoy the craziness!

Cindy said...

: )
Remember that almost ALL of the onlookers have been there they can stuff it!
Reminds me of the time I almost punched a little old lady at the post office........ (I could have taken her..LOL)
Hang tight mom and dad! It gets easier every day!

Life in the Bend said...

Ha ha ha ha ha! (Not about Chris being sick but about being a mom of two in a store.) Sucker. ;)

Jess said...

oh Christina, you will get there, you're right, the finish line is just ahead;)

M and M said...

indeed - it's a place we've all been, some of us choosing to return there again and again! You WILL get better at this piece; planning the logistics and anticipating best strategies. And, the kids will make the adjustments too. Just wait until they plan their revolts together! (Just smile through them mama!). Good to know you're doing well, feeling better, and tackling the 2 baby outings!

Mark and Sarah said...

If I had a dollar for every "hands full" comment I've gotten in the last 18 months I'd seriously stop worrying about how we're going to send the boys to college. I still don't have a great response, so let me know if you think of one.

Going from one to two kids is hard. Harder for us than going from zero to one. The new dynamic of the kids together, of you with each one of them, of sharing, of more "work", etc, etc. You're not alone. It does get easier as you find a daily rhythm, as you figure out which stores have double carts (avoid all others!), as the baby starts to feel more comfortable and go to sleep on her own. I agree with the advice you got about 1:1 time with the oldest. It's really hard to do it, especially so early in the game--so don't give yourself a hard time about not being able to do it right away. Even simple things like trips to the store with only D will help.

Please call if you want to commiserate or brainstorm or vent!

I can't tell you how happy it made me to see the picture of D and S together in the tub. Don't worry--I truly think they'll be inseparable soon. A ignored T for the first few months he was home...I wondered if he'd ever "like" him...and my worrying was for naught.

You're doing an awesome job! Can't wait to hear more about your time in Ethiopia and what happened to allow you to bring S home!?

Anonymous said...

Hope you feel better soon.
You got some very cute kids there. Congratulations again!

It will get better. :)

laugheveryday said...

Oh I have so been there. I was the same way with one - going to two felt like going to TEN. It quadrupled my level of exhaustion. Your kids are beautiful. Love the pics of you and husby.

cathy said...

so sorry you were so sick. that should be against the law for new parents but it seems to happen more often than not. sorry, too, that your time has come... but at least we can all relate to you now :) you'll find your groove soon, and D won't ever remember that he was an only child. hugs!

Ma'amba Jamba said...

We had the same sort of behavior issues and confusions when we brought home our youngest son from the hospital. Our oldest was never "mean", but he didn't want to touch his brother, be touched by him, play with him, etc... We never pushed him to do those things, just tried to support him through it and their relationship has just blossomed over the past eight months and they're good little buddies now! We'll see how it goes when we bring home their sister... :)

Jill said...

SO glad to hear more from you. You've all been on my mind & I'm so glad for updates on ALL!!! hahaha ~ not sure if I'm GLAD that I read your Walgreens story, though, or just more afraid... :) Isn't it that much HARDER when "well-meaning" (or not) on-lookers make seemingly nice comments??!! I want to crawl under the table & DIE!!! Hang in there...awesome how just after what, ten days (?), she's already tagging after big brother...SO sweet!!! :) Can't wait to hear more!

Anonymous said...

You are great parents, Christina, understanding D's feelings. Not all parents have such insight. Both are as cute as can be. Especially enjoyed the video of her army crawl and interest in big brother. Enjoy those nights of sleep! Hugs and kisses to all! Call if you need an ear :-).
Love, Cindy in Warrensburg