The million dollar question, with no ready answer. Dinkeneh is doing better than the first day, but not great over all. This kind of sums it up (minus the "shut up" bit):
Seriously. It's actually sort of humorous. He runs around after her, waits until she touches something, then leaps in to snatch it back while shouting, seagull style, "Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!" We have seen a bit of progress. Now, when we talk about sharing, he will place a toy in front of her and stand up, clap for himself, and then snatch it back with a defiant "Mine!" But hey, progress is progress.
Other than the sharing difficulties, he's handling things okay. He still doesn't want to share lap space with Saye, and has no interest in holding her, hugging her, or otherwise interacting with her. He will occasionally giggle when he sees her smiling, so I think there's light at the end of the tunnel. It will just take time. A lot of people have suggested making sure we get some quality one-on-one time with D whenever we can. The problem we're having is that Saye won't go to sleep on her own. So she's awake the whole time that he's awake, and she doesn't like to be put down. Tricky, tricky. Still working on that one.
The first few nights we were home, Dinkeneh woke up crying in the middle of the night, babbling about planes and bye-byes. Clearly a lot of anxiety over us having left for two weeks, which we expected, even though we did try to prep him. So we've talked a lot about "no more planes," "no more bye-byes," and "mama dada and Dinkeneh are home." It seems to be helping, since he slept through the night the past two nights. Knock on wood.
Some shots of D post-brotherhood:
This about sums it up: